Something to look at, no brain power required.

To add a light vibe to the blog, I wanted to share some pictures I took a while back. I took myself around on a near-dusk bike ride (when it wasn't snowing and frigid, like it currently is), and tried to capture some G'burg moments. I posted some to facebook...but who cares, this is better. 

What used to be FEMAville. A temporary city that included paved roads, stop signs, and street names.

FEMAville today. Deserted, yet perfect for bike riding.

There are lots of spare materials to be found around town.

The bricks along Sycamore Street, with the 5.4.7 (May 4th, 2007) Arts Center in the background. 5.4.7. is the first LEED platinum building in the State of Kansas.

These steps speak for themselves, a beautiful statue that remains untouched and reminds all those who see it of the true power of Mother Nature. (5.4.7. again in the background).

Where a house once stood.

The beautiful Kiowa County School.

A town reborn.

The Silo Eco-Home and the GreenTown office.

My neighbor's yard. My favorite yard in Greensburg.

And this is me today, I'm feeling a lot better (I knew crumminess couldn't last forever).

I'm also in the process of packing up my things for a conference in St. Louis! I would say I'd meet you there, but that's probably unlikely. Updates to come!

-J

It's okay to cry sometimes

Anyone who knows me...or maybe has only met me briefly...knows that I am very emotional, and I wear my emotions on my face. When I'm happy, you know it. When I'm sad...you definitely know it. Pent up stress/sadness/irritation/frustration is a hard thing to deal with...and we all deal with it differently. Me, I cry. I prefer being in bed, underneath my covers, alone. I love my friends, family, and anyone who offers a shoulder or sleeve...but I am most content being sad alone. It is my own type of emotional therapy. I enjoy silence as I place my hands under my thighs and I close my eyes. As tears run down my face, I feel a release of pressure. Crying just works for me.

Why I'm telling you this: This is a hard journey I am currently on, much harder than I anticipated. When change comes at you so quickly, when you have to leave one life behind (temporarily), my mind, heart, and emotions flail in all directions. 

This week I found myself listing everything I miss:
Davis
Falafel
Home
In n Out Burger
My own bathroom
Mountains
The ocean
The people I talk to but I don't get to see

It's frustrating. I hate the fear of losing people or missing out (FOMO to the max). It makes me mad/sad/frustrated...all the emotions that help orchestrate the 'Jana Waterworks Show' (seats limited). 

I have asked myself. "Why did I do this?" Which is something I am ashamed to say. But when something is so hard and challenges you in ways you never imagined for yourself, you start to ask yourself those questions. Why.

That is when trust comes in. I trust that people will still love me, tomorrow will be better, and I will have an animal-style grilled cheese in the future. Saying those things to myself--as I cry--is what I do on a bad day. 

Today is just a bad day, that's all, and you just helped me cope with that.

I would say this blog post is categorized as a 'reflection.' Greensburg, GreenTown, and Kansas are still kickin...each with their own ups and downs. 

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend, and I hope you do something yourself that challenges you to push your limits and evaluate how you deal with stress or frustration. And do me a favor, if you find a good falafel recipe, please share it with me!